When the going gets tough... the tough start going...

Well here's the deal... Since i left Singapore, i am away from the bitching.. the putting me down.. neglecting me in groups.. and having to fight....

Here i am comfortable.. and stable.. have friends who love and adore me .. and im a hot party organiser and i love it...

But its also mellowed me down.. im not fiesty... im starting to lose the fight in me... but the time for it to kick back is here.... coz i am gonna break away from this cozy world.. of University and friends... and i need to sort it out soon..

I know what i want, and im gonna go get it.

And you are no one to say i cant get it... it i dont get it the first time.. fine.. i will keep trying ..till i get it.. i never feared not succeeding.. coz i will.... i just will...

Its plain simple Faith..

If I never take this leap of faith, I'll never know

so...I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow....

And that is the hardest thing to do... to be independant.. and to live life for yourself.. you are no longer doing something coz your parents told you .. or you ought to do it.. and im not talking about childish defiance in clubbin/smoking/drinkin etc...

I mean in life... when is it that parents stop leading and you do.... its actually quite difficult... coz you feel like you are being pushed from a plane without your parachute( parent) that used to make sure you landed safely.. and now somehow you need to land safely ... and its all hitting me... so quickly.. im scared that before i can sort it out... i will land with a thud..

What is life meant to be... what will it be.... who will we be?

My boyfriend has gone to India after something like 4 years to see his parentals and brother and family basically... he's been too estatic to miss me pretty much...( dont blame him though i wld be like that if i went back home after 4 yrs) but you know when the day is over and the night dawns on you.....
I just miss him.. plain and simple... Pure missing him... i ache to pick up the phone and ring him like i used to bug him.... and share everything abt everyday... I you back... so selfishly want you here....


my safety nets are slowly eroding away.. what am i to do?