If I never take this leap of faith, I'll never know

so...I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow....

And that is the hardest thing to do... to be independant.. and to live life for yourself.. you are no longer doing something coz your parents told you .. or you ought to do it.. and im not talking about childish defiance in clubbin/smoking/drinkin etc...

I mean in life... when is it that parents stop leading and you do.... its actually quite difficult... coz you feel like you are being pushed from a plane without your parachute( parent) that used to make sure you landed safely.. and now somehow you need to land safely ... and its all hitting me... so quickly.. im scared that before i can sort it out... i will land with a thud..

What is life meant to be... what will it be.... who will we be?

My boyfriend has gone to India after something like 4 years to see his parentals and brother and family basically... he's been too estatic to miss me pretty much...( dont blame him though i wld be like that if i went back home after 4 yrs) but you know when the day is over and the night dawns on you.....
I just miss him.. plain and simple... Pure missing him... i ache to pick up the phone and ring him like i used to bug him.... and share everything abt everyday... I you back... so selfishly want you here....


my safety nets are slowly eroding away.. what am i to do?