hmm do i need to give a title to ramblings?

I know it looks like i never come to update my blog.. but i do come to it.. i read my own entries.. and for the last few months.. i just could not open up to say much.. i dont know why? actually i still dont.

i want to forget everything i just want to sit in the cold with a friend and watch the world go by, i dont anything else... i feel like i have lost it all.. there is truly no safety net in my life, no bf he's gone.. the friends have here feels like its only time before they are gone.. and all i have to go back to is home. which wld be nice but i am not excited about.

I need to do something.. drastic but i cant seem to figure it... ever felt like nothing gives you pleasure. i am just empty.. nothing makes you smile.. whatever does for a min i want it for an hour. for days for my life.

and i have a ton of work to do.. so i am gonna go.